If you’re currently reading this and not playing the Castle Dimitrescu demo of Resident Evil Village that is live for the next few hours, then hey! Thanks for the support, Brah!

For real though! I’m over here writing this article while I should be playing the damn demo! But it’s all good. I love you guys. You love me? Maybe. Ok, back to the article.

The ESRB rating summary for Resident Evil Village is now live for your reading pleasure. Not to worry, it doesn’t spoil things the way that the original summary for God of War (2018) summary did.

This is a survival-horror action game in which players assume the role of a man (Ethan Winters) searching for his missing daughter through a wintry village. From a first-person perspective, players explore environments and use pistols, shotguns, and machine guns to shoot and kill fantastical creatures (e.g., werewolves, ghouls, mutants, mechanical humanoids) found throughout the surrounding areas. Some attacks result in decapitation and/or dismemberment of enemies, often accompanied by large splatters of blood; some areas depict large bloodstains and entrails within the environment. Cutscenes can depict additional acts of intense violence and gore: a character’s heart ripped out of their chest; a person chopped through the shoulder by a machete; a character impaled through the chest by a giant weapon; a person repeatedly shot. The words “f**k” and “sh*t” are heard in the game.

They even dropped the summary for Resident Re: Verse, the online multiplayer add-on included with REV.

This is a multiplayer third-person shooter, based on the Resident Evil franchise, in which players compete in deathmatches against other online opponents. Players use pistols, machine guns, and rocket launchers to kill opponents in fast-paced and frenetic combat. Combat is highlighted by realistic gunfire, large explosions, and frequent blood-splatter effects. Some attacks result in characters exploding into pieces when killed. Players can also assume the roles of various monsters that perform finishing attacks (e.g., throat rip, head stomp, impalement), often resulting in large sprays of blood. Some environments depict severed animal heads and entrails.

While most of us hoped for a ‘suffocation from a large demon woman’s bossom‘ as part of the summary, I’m sure people will find ways to make it happen with the Photo Mode that’s included with the game. Oh dear.

Resident Evil Village makes Ethan Winters life a living hell once again on May 7th. While you wait you could always download the free PlayStation avatars or pre-order at Best Buy for the free SteelBook case?!